Sunday, June 3, 2012
I have started this online journal in the hopes that my life will somehow be a comfort or encouragement to someone out there. Sometimes we get so focused on our own life, we forget that their are others out there who are fighting their own battles, going through struggles, frustrations, and day to day issues. This is not my place to just whine but I will openly share things I am going through , again in the hope that maybe my little small life can help one other person.
A little about me, I am firstly a mommy to the most amazing two beautiful perfect baby boys, who surprisingly and unplanned came 10 months and 3 weeks apart. Yes, being pregnant for almost 2 years defiantly changed me. Every day they teach me more about myself, how I react to the unexpected and I believe any mother can testify that having children is walking and waiting for the next unexpected thing to happen. They are my joy but also the hardest thing Ive done in my life, yes I admit it ( judge me) being a mommy is hard. I wouldn't change it for the world but anyone who says its not work, welllllll they don't have kids yet.
Secondly I was a wife for nearly 10 years, my husband and I met and eloped 3 months later during a Florida hurricane. The Florida cheerleader and the hunky German imported car developer. Even though we have grown apart, I look back at falling madly in love with him in the beginning, good memories, and will always be grateful to him for my beautiful boys.
End of summer 2011 the day before my oldster's 2nd birthday, I lost our little girl Layla Kay in my second trimester of pregnancy at home alone. That event will forever change who I am because apart of me died with her.
So in 3 years I have had THREE pregnancies, been in a horrible wreck, 2 emergency c-sections 10 months apart, nearly lost my first baby after 33 hours of home birth, next had one baby in ICU, got divorced, moved into my own home, lost a child, opened a business, and now launching a second business the LARGEST of my career.......amongst this my business has been attacked through malicious gossip and slander.....( will get into that more sometime).
How have I handled all this???? DID I HAVE A CHOICE? NO! When life happens its how you react that proves your character. Have I had ruff times, times where I wanted to fall asleep and not wake up? YES....Ive cried in the shower for hours after putting the babies to sleep, refuse to talk to God because I was angry, and then tried to be a workaholic to just forget all personal emotions.
Which has led me to one conclusion. I am who I am because of HIM! My relationship with Jesus will never end, He is the only thing in my life that is consistent. The miracles and blessings in my life are directly handed to me from Him.
Every single thing that has happened to me has led up to the biggest blessing in my life. My new business venture. I have taken the negative things that have happened to me and have turned them into the most positive thing.
" When you REALLY want something you WILL find a way....if not you will find an excuse"
So here is the beginning of my journal and devotional blog. I hope that I can somehow bless even one person. Be an encouragement in the darkness, a laugh in the midst of chaos, and a shoulder to cry on.........
I invite you on this journey if you so choose to walk with me